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Funky Jesus
"Funky Jesus" is the eighth track from ''Inception of Perfection''. Story "Funky Jesus" follows a married couple struggling with their relationship. The track begins with a man named Stephen praying to God with the hope of finding answers. Instead, his prayers are answered by the eponymous character who claims to know how to rekindle Stephen's marriage. Funky Jesus' help merely consists of advice on how to "get funky", which angers Stephen to the point where he interrupts the song and demands proper assistance. Funky Jesus responds by finally co-operating with Stephen until he returns to his original ways and even offers Stephen's wife, Fiona, the chance to go with him instead and enjoy a life "filled with funk". Stephen attempts to convince Fiona to stay, but Fiona rejects him and leaves with Funky Jesus. Shocked and confused, Stephen begs Fiona to return and breaks down in tears as the track ends. Lyrics This is the story of a man who's trying his best to fight for the woman he loves And has no choice, but to turn to the last resort Stephen: Please, God, hear my prayer I fear I'm losing her She's my one and only I don't want her to leave me Oh, what do I do? Funky Jesus: I hear you need guidance, young one Stephen: Oh thank God you came Funky Jesus: Oh don't thank God, thank Jesus. Funky Jesus Stephen: What? Funky Jesus: I hear you're down in the dumps, my friend I hear you're trying your best to make amends That you give each other oral, but you can't get it up Your marriage is breaking down 'cause you just can't fu-- Stephen: Whoa! Whoa! I never said that I... I can't connect with her anymore mentally, emotionally Funky Jesus: My mistake! Fear not, for I have the answers that you seek Now this is what you've got to do You've got to break the chains to connect one-to-one Now take a deep breath and open your mind Take the stereo, plug it in, turn it on, bob your head along Turn it up, turn it round, now it's time to hit the ground It's time to get funky Now take it to the left, bounce to the right Keep it going, girl, I can do this all night Now do a barrel roll, you've gotta lose all control Feel a little soul, Funky Jesus will fill that hole Hey, work that barge pole. Yeah, you're making me swole Shake your ass to the ground, I've got a boner inbound Let me take you on a bode, 'cause I'm about to explode No time to mope around, let's go another round Now take it to the left, bounce to the right Keep it going, girl, I can do this all night Now do a barrel roll, you've gotta lose all control Feel a little soul, Funky Jesus will fill that hole Stephen: No! No! Enough! Enough! Now you help me with my wife or you take your shit music and leave! Funky Jesus: I'm sorry you feel that way But rest assured I'll show ya How to rekindle that Love between you and Fiona So first you take her hand and you look her in the eyes And you tell her how you feel, that she's the reason you're alive That you love her the way she is, from how she talks to how she moves And now it's time to hit play and get down with the groove Funky Jesus, oh won't you please us With your impeccable moves, your awe-inspiring grooves? Funk me, Funky Jesus, show me how to funk Funk me, Funky Jesus, what you packing in that trunk? Funky x5 Funky Jesus! Funky Jesus! (Funky) Now take it to the left, (Funky) bounce to the right (Funky) Keep it going, girl, (Funky) I can do this all night (Funky) Now do a barrel roll, (Funky Jesus) you've gotta lose all control (Funky Jesus) Feel a little soul, (Funky Jesus) Funky Jesus will fill that hole (Funky Jesus) Hey, work that barge pole. (Funky) Yeah, you're making me swole (Funky) Shake your ass to the ground, (Funky) I've got a boner inbound (Funky) Let me take you on a bode, (Funky Jesus) 'cause I'm about to explode (Funky Jesus) No time to mope around, (Funky Jesus) let's go another round (Funky Jesus) Let's go, Fiona. Don't stay with this punk Come with me and I'll show you a life filled with funk Stephen: Fiona, forgive me. I'm not funky, so Just give me one more chance to do it all again Fiona: You had your chance, Stephen, and you blew it Stephen: You can't be serious Fiona? No! Don't leave me, please I can change, I can be a better man! Don't go... No... I'll learn how to funk! I'll be a better man! Don't leave me Fiona? Fiona! Personnel * Neil Beforeme – vocals, writer, programming * Peteorite – programming Trivia * Length: 6:06 Category:Neil Beforeme tracks Category:Tracks